Monday, March 24, 2008

What did "my sign" really Mean?

Theme for the week: The "end," grief, sadness, etc.

Yesterday, I just felt like I needed a sign of what my future might be like. I'm coming out of a harsh cold winter full of storms that began with a tragic death of a young person and "middled" with the death of my beloved aunt in February and a serious, but so far non fatal illness that has plagued my mother in law all winter. Alas, winter has officially ended.

However, the first day of Spring marked the unusual death of my babysitter's favorite aunt. The latter was a beloved mother, aunt, sister, daughter and community member who just happened to be a victim of massive head injuries from something freaky that happened during a boating excursion in Florida. I didn't know my sitter's aunt, but my heart is hurting for "my" sitter and her family.

Anyway, I was out walking yesterday and was hoping for a sign that would give me a hint of the future. I didn't think to specify a "good" sign. I just assumed it would be. So, inspired by my want of "a sign", I changed my walking route a little and ended up passing two signs with leadership and excellence in the title (one was for the ROTC) I also passed a sign on a church that instructed readers to "weave faith into life." The existence of those signs could have been in my subconsciousness, but I can say I didn't take the alternate route with those signs in mind. I wasn't really looking for literal signs, although I was glad to see those signs. However, what I wanted to see was something unusual with a concrete message. Unfortunately unusual is what I saw.

What did a see? I saw the darn Grim Reaper riding a motor cycle down West Campus drive. He was wearing black leather biker duds and a ski mask that resembled a skull. It was a pretty scary Halloween costume. Only it was Easter Day. I've seen lots of strangely dressed folks on campus (where the bulk of my walking route is), but I've never seen that. It gave me the chills. Geez, life really can be stranger than fiction. OK, let's just say, that sight was a vision of the Grim Reaper riding out of my life for now. Or maybe we can say that the vision was a sign that it is OK to blog about something as heavy as Grief this week. Will promise that not every post fitting the theme will be a total downer.

I'm doing my darnest not to take the irony of spotting the Grim Reaper after requesting a sign too seriously. Last week I started thinking about blogging about autism and how it relates to grief in its many forms. I also worried that I'd scare people away. So I've taken my "sign" to mean that maybe it's OK to blog about such a heavy topic. At least I hope it is...

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