Comments on Autism Blog: Siblings: my local editor's column about his two s...

Hi, no your concern does not seem insignificant. I...

2008-03-14T06:58:00.000-07:00

Hi, no your concern does not seem insignificant. I may revisit the sib theme soon and check around for sources about adult siblings.
My children are five and nine so my knowledge is stronger for that age group. I wish you the best of luck in your new relationship.

I am searching for information on the effects of ...

2008-03-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

I am searching for information on the effects of Autism on the family, i am currently seeing a guy who's younger brother has Autism, i would like to understand him a bit better, i have worked wiyth autism in the past but have not dealt with siblings of autistic children. i have noticed that some of the behaviors that this man displays are very much like those of an autistic youth. this my seem little and insignificant but this is very important to me. please if you can help.

ELizabeth
shaniqua-aintyogirl@live.ca

Thank you for this post. I have a seven year old ...

2008-02-29T01:38:00.000-08:00

Thank you for this post. I have a seven year old son with Asperger's and am expecting a little girl in April. It goes without saying that all of this stuff has been on my mind a lot lately.

I often wonder what the long term effects will be ...

2008-02-26T23:07:00.000-08:00

I often wonder what the long term effects will be on my daughter - having a brother with an ASD. Time will tell, but thank you Julie for a great post... and Marla for sharing your thoughts... an important topic to address!

Thanks for sharing your story Marla. I guess I nev...

2008-02-26T19:39:00.000-08:00

Thanks for sharing your story Marla. I guess I never realized how tough it could be to be a sibling of a special needs child. I really appreciate your insights here.

I grew up with my older sister having a stroke whe...

2008-02-26T18:30:00.000-08:00

I grew up with my older sister having a stroke when she was six and I was two. She was paralyzed on her left side, blind in one eye, deaf in one ear and severely developmentally delayed. This forever changed my life. I was sent from home to home while my parents delt with hospitalizations and trips to far off hospitals.

I do believe I became mature much sooner and learned a great deal about compassion and how to help others.

It was also very tough. I was always told things like, "Get over it! It could be worse...look at your sister and then see if you feel like you have any real problems." My parents were not always like that but they did on occassion say such things as that. It really can screw you up in many ways. The pressure not to burden your parents with your problems becomes immense, even at a very young age.

Now, as an adult my disabled sister has managed to give birth to two children that she struggles to raise. My parents continue to devote extraordinary amounts of attention to her and her children.

the pressure put on the non disabled sibling is immense and it never ever goes away. Parents are wise to spend lots of time with the non disabled child and not belittle that child's problems or concerns about their own life.

I would also say parents should never force that sibling to be a "built in" playmate when reaching the teenage years. Even if one sibling struggles to have friends the "normal" sibling should not be made to feel guilty or forced to turn down invites to always be with the disabled sibling.

Many parents do not think about the affect of being raised with a disabled sibling and the immense pressure placed on them. It is very inspiring to me that you are taking the time to discuss this important issue!

My experience with being raised with a disabled sibling has made me very hesitant to adopt another child considering our first is disabled and chronically ill. I do not know if I have the energy, patience, time and money to care for a second child. Even though I turned out well I would not want a child to be under the constant pressure that I felt as a child and I don't want to age as fast and be as exhausted as I see my mother is.