Comments on Autism Blog: An Autism Parent on Kathie Snow's People First Lan...

Kathie Snow probably did see this already as it wa...

2010-01-09T13:15:13.405-08:00

Kathie Snow probably did see this already as it was posted a year ago. I agree that she probably didn't like what I wrote. My point is that she labeled the word "autistic" bad when I don't think the word necessarily ever had negative conotations. I always thought of it as a neutral word until I got snapped at and talked down to for using it in conversation in a neutral way. I forgave the person who snapped at me, but I resented the notion that "autistic" was a bad word to use. In my opinion (and I suspect I'm in the minority here), the people first mantra seems to add stigma to our cause rather than defeat it.

Case in point-- I might be an undiagnosed person with Apserger Syndrome and if I ever get diagnosed I would proudly say "I'm Autistic." It IS a personal choice.
However, I've been respectful and have used people first here on this blog despite my preference.

The eye color thing was a neutral example. I'd just rather say I have a blue eyed boy or a hazeled eye boy than put "people first"--boy with blue eyes, boy with hazel eyes. My eyes are hazel, by the way and I do not put one eye color above the other. Am happy to have a boy with each respective eye color.

As for my dear friend, she lost one of her sons with autism just before Christmas two years ago. His funeral was on Christmas EVE. Putting the silly people first stuff aside, I love her and did whatever it took to get her through that very difficult time including missing my own dad's 80th b-day party. : ( I put her needs first before my own family's needs and do not regret it, though I wish for everyone's sake things would have been different and that her son with autism would still be with us today. And yeah, I respect my friend's word preference and try to be mindful of it in her presence, though I hope she wouldn't snap at me if I forgot.

Anyway, I also co-organized a memorial walk for her son during the month of April that year, and yes, was mindful of People First Language.

Julie L. If Kathie Snow has read this post, I can...

2010-01-09T11:37:03.250-08:00

Julie L.

If Kathie Snow has read this post, I can only imagine how she must feel. The first comment by Casdock says it all for me - it`s a personal choice. Might I also get away with saying that the use of the N word is a personal choice?

This comment by the author of this post floors me - I wish I could just defy the PFL altogether and write the word autistic all the time, but I can`t. Why? Because I have a dear friend who ...

I think the point is your dear friend, who has recognized the hurt caused in the language we use to address people with disabilities, wants you to see past the words - not use other terms or words begrudgingly. The idea she is fighting against is not eliminated simply when we stop using the terms - its a change in your mind set she is after. You`ve completely missed the boat here.

I`ve only very recently been introduced to this topic but if the words I use are hurting people I want to learn to stop.

I was in a meeting recently with a new acquaintence who used the word `gay` to describe someones actions. I informed him that his use of the word offended me as I have a gay son. He immediately apologized and said he would not use it in that manner again. He didn`t argue with me that he didn`t think it harmful or that there are some occasions in which it might be used properly. He certainly didn`t tell others he didn`t see anything wrong with the word, that I was just being politically correct,or that he would not use it only because I was such a great friend. He took my feelings into account and the fact he might also be offending others and made a decision to NOT HURT. (what is the definition of true friend anyway)

As for your use of language in the media, the firs thought that entered my head was `systemic`.

Your comment about being a proud mom of a blue eyed boy is incredible to me. Since when has someone treated someone else badly because they had blue eyes, when have they been refused employment, segregated in asylums, teased etc. etc. Perhaps if Hitler had succeeded the words might have had a different meaning.

I would suggest you call your `dear friend`, apologize and ask her how you might help stop her (and many others) pain.

Terry D

It doesn't surprise me that as one who works in th...

2008-11-17T06:44:00.000-08:00

It doesn't surprise me that as one who works in the media you are for erring on the side of being polite. Being politically correct is a big part of your job. If you wrote a story or did a broadcasted piece that offended a huge group of people then you would be in a whole lot of trouble as you well know.

It still baffles though me to why the word autistic is offensive. What the heck is wrong with the word? I'm kind of offended that it's politically incorrect to say it.

In terms of my world, I have to face this particular challenge often in terms of writing posts for this blog or in referring to my son. So to say a person with autism rather than to say (or write) autistic will add quite a few words to the ones I already have to speak or write in my lifetime. Often I do err on the side of political correctness depending on the topic of my post. However, I'd much rather just use my favorite word, "autistic", most of the time. It's just a matter wanting to exercise personal choice rather than being held back by pc terms.

as one who is in the media (and one who prefers NO...

2008-11-17T06:16:00.000-08:00

as one who is in the media (and one who prefers NOT to use the word autistic) i think, while it may be a shoulder-shrugging issue for some, why not err on the side being polite. it's not as if others are as bothered by using 'xxx with autism' and NOT using 'autistic'...why not make it a practice to use the term that is LEAST likely to offend anyone?

Well literally you may be right about what autism ...

2008-05-17T06:28:00.000-07:00

Well literally you may be right about what autism parent means, but in a cultural sense it means parents of someone who is autistic.
At least that's what it means on this blog.

As for intent, my concern is that Katie Snow might be inadvertantly making "autistic" a bad word. It's not--especially not according to a lot of other bloggers, including autistics, who use the word frequently.

I also am concerned about people telling others what words they should use to refer to their own children. In terms of people first language: should we say also people who are athletic instead of athletic people? Hmm...

When you use the phrase "autism parent" if means t...

2008-05-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

When you use the phrase "autism parent" if means that you have the diagnosis of autism. kathie snow is right - there's more to it than just words - it's the intent behind the words........people should always be first - disability or not...........

I agree with Casdok. At some point these things b...

2008-02-10T13:04:00.000-08:00

I agree with Casdok. At some point these things become an issue you can tackle and at other times many parents are just trying to survive and may not have knowledge of all of these things and should not be made to feel bad for saying things a certain way. I personally try not to over think the issue.

Yes, I think you are probably right about that (in...

2008-02-05T16:13:00.000-08:00

Yes, I think you are probably right about that (in terms of where a person is in life.)

I agree i think its personal choice. My choices ha...

2008-02-05T02:27:00.000-08:00

I agree i think its personal choice. My choices have changed over the years so i think it also depends on where your at.